Thanks, Doc

 Dear Doctor,

Thank you for your help in getting my brand new diaphragm.  When I came in to see you I was at my wits end:  a bright young woman with a big future that doesn't want to get pregnant and end up with a statistically almost impossible chance of financial solvency as a single mom... but I have been unable so far to find a birth control method that worked for me.  I needed help, and you were almost ready to give it to me.

At first, however, you were skeptical.  You, like every other doctor I have ever gone to speak with, tried to give me the birth control pill.  Again.  I politely declined, reminding you that it made me so horribly depressed that I was almost unable to finish high school.  When you ignored me and tried to prescribe a different brand, I reminded you that such depression is a common side effect of any kind of hormone based birth control, that I had already tried three different varieties, and that the side effects ranged from morbid to debilitating.  We had a gag as I reminded you of the independently funded studies that proved that the good ol' BC Pill permanently increases hormone binding globulin, which permanently decreases testosterone in women who take it.  

Which means that if a woman becomes depressed, anxious, moody, has a lower sex drive or is lethargic because of the pill, and takes it for more than about three or four months, the changes to her personality will be permanent.  

It was water under the bridge once I politely reminded you for the last time that I don't want the pill, and you finally put your pad of prescription paper away.  Condoms?  I explain that I've used them a lot and that they make it very difficult for me to - enjoy the moment. Kind of defeats the purpose.  Spermicide?  I explained that the only available brand in Canada uses Nonoxynol-9, a highly toxic substance known to actually eat away the vaginal wall.  Caused many a painful abrasion and nasty infection for yours truly the handful of times I've tried it!  IUD?  I tried, at over 200$ cost to myself, to have one inserted, but it was too big, as I have yet to have any children. 

Finally a solution is reached:  a diaphragm.  Actually, it was the thing I came into your office asking for in the first place, but thanks for being thorough.  You wrote me the prescription and off I went.  But all was not yet well. You see, diaphragms are no longer available in Canada due to a small market. Perhaps too many doctors are forcing hormonal methods on young women.  Funny that a product with no harmful side effects is touted as a last resort, difficult or impossible to acquire, when one that causes permanent personality alteration, among other macabre side effects, is the medical establishments' go-to.

In fact, the prescription you wrote me is for a product that has been off of the Canadian market for years!  Eventually, I found a way: a small pharmacy in Canmore that is still able to import them.  I felt contraband while trying to get that elusive thing - proper birth control without harmful side effects - that we tout as being every young woman's right, and more importantly, responsibility.  

The day it finally arrived I was ecstatic.  Until I opened the package and read the information pamphlet within.  Did you know, dear doctor, that this specially imported 125$ piece of plastic is absolutely entirely and totally useless at preventing pregnancy without the co-current use of Nonoxynol-9 based spermicide, reapplied for every act of intercourse?  According to the statics in the pamphlet published by the manufacturers of the product itself, not only is Coitus Interruptus - pulling out - an equally effective measure of birth control... but the diaphragm used with spermicide has the same efficacy in preventing pregnancies as using the spermicide alone.

In layman's talk, the thing is useless.  Just another thing to put into my vagina in a mass cultural attempt to 'fix' my female sexuality.

Thanks to all the doctors and all others who built this great system in which us young women are the ones to suffer, to risk... and thanks to the fact that claims about effective, safe and appealing birth control are just good advertising, the fact that our society puts all of the responsibility for making "safe choices" and "good choices" solely on our shoulders when there are no "safe" or "good" choices left to make... all we have left us is to look elsewhere.  After months of searching I discovered a natural spermicide product, Contragel, is now available in Canada, so no thanks to you, this story has a happy ending.