Contemplating Forced Orgasm

 For many years, whether or not I achieved orgasm was largely my own responsibility. Yes, I had a partner. Yes, he had all the right equipment and skills. His sense of reciprocity; however, seemed to diminish over time so I assumed greater responsibility for ensuring my own climax - through clitoral stimulation, largely. And as my libido was less robust than his, I often had to work for the one's I got. I often had some difficulty accommodating his girth so ensuring a certain level of arousal and liberal use of lubricant were integral to ensuring my naughty bits didn't tear.

Over the years I became fairly efficient at achieving an orgasm in the minimum amount of time. My orgasms seemed fairly good at the time. I was even somewhat proud that I was so self-sufficient. The problem was that eventually, this lack of reciprocity had other effects - and somewhat negative. I began to feel sexually and emotionally abandoned. I recall telling a friend that I was starting to feel that who I was and what I needed weren't actually relevant; that it was like being a walking, talking masturbation sleeve instead of a partner/lover. About the same time I began to realize I found it more satisfying to make love to myself. You can imagine that relationship eventually came apart.

I moved on to other partners; however, I never completely broke the habit of taking care of my own needs, even when I wasn't by myself. Not surprising then, my first few steps into kink involved experimenting with clothespins and a wooden spoon during solo masturbation.

As JL and I began to experiment with impact play, bondage, nipple play and other techniques, with me as the submissive/bottom, I slowly began to surrender more control to her, and I loved it! It was so liberating to be able to just enjoy the sensations being created. It also did wonders for my own sexual response. To quote her, I became a "horny wench" after years of thinking my libido had almost gone dormant.

Recently, we have been experimenting with forced orgasm. It began as a pairing of stronger impact play with clitoral and g-spot stimulation, as a way of helping me expand my limits. The increased pain would initially push back the orgasm, but the intensity of the clitoral/g-spot stimulation would fight against this. What a wild ride that could be and was! She would push me for extended periods and I would ride the waves up and down until I was growling like a feral creature.

Sometimes the lines would blur and the same pain that pushed me back from the edge ten minutes before would now send me flying. At other times, the ride went on and on and I found myself enduring levels of stimulation (pleasure and pain) I would not have thought possible. But because I was neither directing they actions nor had any control, I was forced to surrender to the experience. Only once so far have I uttered a safe word (and that was because the heat emanating from the vibrator became a concern).

The after effects of such a session are interesting. Initially, my genitals remain incredibly engorged and this is quite pleasant. The endorphin high is amazing as well. I am like a sated cat - I want to curl up and purr. The following day, my frame of mind is noticeably brighter and more positive than usual.

The sheer lust I experience in these sessions is exhilarating. I am completely at Lady's mercy and welcome every torment she cares to share with me. I shiver, groan, shake, moan, scream and yes, even howl for her. She revels in the power she has over my response and takes great joy and pride in what she can pull from me. I marvel at the magic she creates and am completely enthralled.

She and I both know she has the capacity to turn me into an utter wanton, willing to do whatever she asks and accept whatever she wishes to give. I happily surrender to her will and bask in the remarkable love that drives it.