Validation in the Strangest Places
Yesterday I attended a funeral. I didn't know the lady for whom everyone had gathered, but I went in support of one of her grand-daughters with whom I work. As funerals go it was touching. The lady in question was well loved and had lived a long and full life. Since I wasn't caught up in the emotions, I found myself listening to the words being spoken and sung. It got me thinking about what I believe.
Now you might wonder what in the world any of this has to do with sexuality and kink. Today as I sang along to the familiar hymns, participating but remaining apart, I realized that the choices I have recently made are very much connected to the things I believe. I believe that we are spiritual beings having experiences on this physical plane. By virtue of the fact that we are spiritual beings, each of us carries a spark of the divine. I believe that sexual expression is an important part of the physical and emotional experiences in this life.
But as I listened to the words being spoken aloud, I found myself wondering if generations of theologians may have at least partially missed the point? What if Jesus hadn't died for us in the literal sense? What if it was to exemplify sacrifice and surrender? Considering he was regarded to be a political rabble-rouser in his day, giving himself up was indeed a sacrifice. Surrendering to a greater will, enduring physical pain and maintaining the capacity to love is what I saw when I looked at the icon over the altar.
Consider a few words from a commonly quoted prayer, "Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." If we already have that divine spark, is it any wonder that we sometimes seek experiences that enable us to step outside of our everyday life, to surrender to the will of another, to process pain in a different way and yet maintain our regard for our partner? Could there be something inherently spiritual or soul-satisfying in this sort of experience making it worthy of pursuing? We who practice BDSM know the answer to this.
I'm not suggesting that an inclination for BDSM is an expression of any particular set religious beliefs. The heathens have an expression, "as above, so below." Other traditions embrace the use of flagellation or other physical trials to induce an ecstatic state. What I mean is that surrender is an entirely natural state to pursue as a human, and BDSM is a way to experience this. Some people choose sports, some choose meditation, and some choose deep muscle massage. The method is as varied as the people choosing them, but the pursuit of the experience is very human.
Who would have thought I'd find validation normalizing BDSM as I participated in a Catholic funeral?
Post #122 - From Beneath the Rose at www.frombeneaththerose.com